I think I spoke to soon about feeling acclimated to the Pacific Northwest. Well, I feel acclimated but am feeling homesick! I do not want to move back to the bay, but I am feeling far from home! I guess, I can attribute it to the fabulous weekend I had with a girlfriend who came to visit this weekend. She celebrated her birthday with me and my boyfriend in Seattle! It was so much fun! I felt like I was a tourist on vacation! She brought a little bit of the bay area to mask the overcast, rainy Washington weather. I took her all over Seattle, and we had tons of funs like how we did in Oakland!
Now, the fabulous weekend is over!
I just dropped her off at Sea-Tac airport, and I am feeling a little unsettled. I subconsciously wanted to get on the plane with her and back to the bay area! I feel like a child who just realized they were dropped off at daycare. You know, the child who is frantically looking for their mommy and daddy, and starting to panic and cry because they were left behind in the play area with some unfamiliar faces.
Like that child, I am starting to feel a little upset about my friend leaving me! While I am rational, logical person, there is a part of me that is starting to having doubts – only moderate doubts! I am feeling less confident and more doubtful! My mind starts to race with a million thoughts like “Will I find a job here?, ” Will a masters degree be enough to make up for the lack of sensational job experience?”, and “Will I meet new people here like my close friends from back home?”
I guess, the Mary Tyler Moore moment from last weekend is gone! I had no choice but to take a “big girl” pill. I actually took two dosages! Last week, I embraced the new physical changes in my life! Now, it is time to embrace the emotional changes! The emotional changes that deal with the feelings associated with a huge change in lifestyle. I am no longer a graduate student, and will probably be soon joining the working world – no longer being unemployed!
My “big girl pill” is making me feel less self-loathing and more hopeful! I will focus my thoughts on positive affirmations! I am happy here! I will find a job soon! I will meet new people! Yes, I am feeling a lot better now!